La Petite Bebe

artwork by Therese Lavery

artwork by Therese Lavery

artwork by Therese Lavery

Beck lyrics

artwork by Therese Lavery

artwork by Therese Lavery

  post from December:

in case you did not know- or have forgotten

on Columbus day this year my brother was found dead

everything in my world changed. 

My brother Patrick and i were close, we did not have other kids in our neighbor hood to play with so we had only each other.

I first found out the news when i was out one night, i had artwork up at Irish Pol for the  Scantily clad reading event. at first i thought the call was about the doctor’s appointment i had earlier that day.but it wasn’t. All i was told at that moment was that he had an accident. i did not know what kind of accident. He was never a good driver my first reaction was that he crashed his car, then my father informed me he was found at home.  all i wanted to do was cry. I tried to go into work the next day. I am not much on sharing my pain but i got through the door my boss came to talk to me i don’t even know what news she had for me i broke down in tears.i told her what happened. I went home and called my mother i needed to see my family. My mother drove to get me and while she was on her way to Philadelphia i packed my suitcase. My vision was blurry from all my tears i grabbed any clothing item that was black. and i keep saying to myself  “black it must be black” 

I did not know fully the details of my brothers death till my family and i went to the funeral home.

My mother found him at home, my father and i did not see the body.

He shot himself in the face

everything has been a blur

the moved was a great distraction but my place is still not put together

i lack motivation. i feel alone. and my work done at 2  i feel like i spend hours just waiting at home for an appropriate time to eat, sleep and start another day.

if i do eat i only eat once a day. i’m just not hungry. every couple of days i cry a lot. i never been so overwhelmed by my emotions, not since i was a teenager. I go out to try to be me again,  but it just a distraction.

i feel so angry sometimes

so pointless, he was only 25 he did not even get to start a life for himself.

pointless

my life is pointless i make art, and no one cares about art

life is pointless

i should talk more about it to my friends, but they have busy lives

no one wants a downer

and even i really wanted to talk what is there to say?

there are so few words to express what i feel

sad, depressed angry are not expressive enough whatsoever

sometimes when people ask how im doing i just want to reply “how do you think, my brother is dead”

but that is just rude

“oh yeah getting better yada yada”

im sure i can continue writing but you get the point

How i am doing as of right now:

i feel “Me” again. my life is getting back on track with new artwork, and being around positive people. i still have some way to go but i will make things happen, i will create a happy life for myself. My brother’s life may be over, but i am still living. 

art work by Therese Lavery

art work by Therese Lavery

Lonely Metropolitan

Herbert Bayer  (American (born Austria), Haag 1900–1985 Montecito, California)

A Bauhaus-trained graphic designer who immigrated to New York City in 1938, Bayer was known for his innovative work in advertising and book publishing. Although never formally connected with Surrealism, he was fascinated by dream imagery and embraced photomontage as a means of visualizing the psychological realities of modernity. In 1931 he began a series of photomontages illustrating his own dreams, which included this emblematic image in which the artist’s eyes stare from the palms of his hands, cut off at the wrists and floating mysteriously in the courtyard of a Berlin apartment block.